I WANT EAT!

Verse 1:
My breakfast is just air and a pinch of some seeds,
I look like an elf, but I’m a beast that needs feeds.
Spinach green smoothies, celery detox-hell,
Staring at salad for five hours — can’t you tell?
Online I’m a goddess, in the mirror — a ghost,
My dietician sends “greetings” while I’m suffering most.
But at midnight, when my phone is fast asleep,
The ancient paleo-termite starts to creep!

Chorus:
I wanna eat! Screw your avocado toast!
I wanna eat! Gonna make my figure roast!
Give me some meat, fresh from the flame!
Your freaking asparagus — is making me lame!

Verse 2:
The violin plays, I’m still slicing this cucumber,
One more leaf of kale and I’m going under!
Vegans in comments preach ’bout higher light,
But I see “Caesar” and pate in their eyes tonight.
Gluten-free bread tastes like cardboard and dust,
I’d devour a battalion of steaks if I must!
Keto-diet, interval failure and dread,
Whoever invented this — BETTER BE DEAD!

Chorus:
I wanna eat! Screw your avocado toast!
I wanna eat! Gonna make my figure roast!
Give me some meat, fresh from the flame!
Your freaking asparagus — is making me lame!

Bridge:
Look into my eyes… see the ribeye there?
Your whole diet is a fake, I don’t care.
You’re counting grams, I’m counting seconds…
Until I sink… my teeth…
into a CHUNK OF MEAT!!!

Final Chorus:
I wanna eat! Screw your avocado toast!
I wanna eat! Gonna make my figure roast!
Give me some meat, fresh from the flame!
Your freaking asparagus — is making me lame!